Parish Missions

Images of Family

The images of family that come through the Scriptures on the Feast of the Holy Family can easily overwhelm us. Flowing from those images come some further images that can provide encouragement and support for the contemporary family.

First, the word “family” is rooted in the Latin “famulus” which means servant. Our word “family” is derived from the ancient cultural unit that included the broader context of all those who served the family, whether through blood or contractual obligation. When the members of a family serve the needs of one another, then we have a true family. We can see in this powerful image of family that the make-up of the family is not as important as the attitudes of the members towards one another.

The alleged deterioration of the family in our day, or at any other time in history, does not occur from some element outside the family, but rather occurs from within the family itself. The family is a true family when the all the members serve one another in a mutuality that is witnessed, in the words of Paul’s letter to the Colossians, by

heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility,

gentleness, and patience, bearing with one

another and forgiving one another.

The Church has for some time promoted the family as a “domestic church.” This, too, can be an overwhelming image unless we remember that “ecclesia,” the Greek word from which we get our English word “church,” is not an institution nor is it a building. “Ecclesia” means “the assembly,” a community of faith united in love to worship God and committed to a vision of a new creation, a world of peace and justice.

Further, just as we call the church “catholic,” that is “universal” and “inclusive,” so too the family is “catholic,” a universal, inclusive community. When the family uses these images of catholic and church as models for its own existence, it is able to welcome all who are in anyway connected to it by blood, marriage, or affiliation of any dimension.

Such a model for the family adds a deeply spiritual dimension to all our relationships. The image of the family as a “domestic church” mirrors the very sacramentality of husband and wife and therefore applies to all the members of that family.

Ronald Rolheiser proposes another set of four images that he offers as criteria for a sacramental marriage, but could just as easily be tagged as the four criteria for a “sacramental family.” A sacramental marriage he says is

a warm fireplace,

a table of plenty,

a container that holds suffering,

and the Body of Christ.*

A family is a “warm fireplace,” since its love generates warmth, creating a comfortable, inviting environment.

A family is a “table of plenty,” loaded with lots of food and drink – a place of limitless hospitality, a place to be fed both figuratively and literally.

A family is a “container that holds suffering” because it is said that “We can bear any burden if it is shared.” The family has the potential of such a deep and emotional affinity that it makes suffering bearable, even redemptive.

A family is “Christ’s Body,” food for the life of the world. In that sense the family is “Eucharistic,” truly sacramental: a constant source of moral, psychological, and spiritual nourishment.

These are all powerful images of family. Their power rests in our being conscious of the images, whether it’s the image of “famulus” or servant, the “ecclesia” or domestic church, or Rolhesiser’s four-part model. Holding up those images to our daily lived experience in family can nourish and sustain our relationships, not just in our immediate families, but even to our extended families and to all human relationships. We do that by communicating our ideas about what family is all about with one another in an open and honest way – especially in prayer and especially in connection with the Word of God.

But sharing the Word of God in connection with how we deal with one another in all our relationships requires a degree of honesty and humility. We must be willing to listen to one another’s story and let the power of God’s Word enlighten it, clarify it, and enrich it. Only in this way can our families, regardless of their size or composition, become a true sacrament and a model of the Holy Family.

* Against an Infinite Horizon: The Finger of God in Our Everyday Lives.

Ronald Rolheiser. New York: Crossroads Publishing, 2001.